Laura in Indonesia

Missionary Accomplished

2009-08-11T17:22:00.000-07:00

Sunday I woke up early and went up to Atonement Lutheran Church, Boulder to preach twice, give a presentation on Indonesia, and enjoy the day with two friends. We visited three of my favorite places- Burnt Toast, the Shambala Center, and the Tea house. Hugging so many loved one's goodbye left me exhausted but happy. Thus ending my responsibilities as a missionary. There is still a project and an exit interview that I am working on to complete my service. For all intensive purposes, however, that's the end of that chapter of my life.

Monday I met with the super ultra not kidding nice folks at the Rocky Mountain Synod about entrance to candidacy for ordained ministry. The interview was intense but I maintained composure and they had really kind things to say when we were done. At home I sat and waited for the phone call and at around 5:10PM yesterday they called and told me that I am in fact in candidacy. I cried and thanked them for the honor. And I am thankful for this opportunity to start this new chapter in my life.

Goodbye to friends and family all this week, sent my boxes via the mail today. I am soooooo grateful for this amazing country's mail service. Having lived for six months in a place where things were lost, stolen, or destroyed when they arrived, mailing with confidence is wonderful. Where are my clothes, books, and meditation pillow going to be in 6-10 business days? Right were I sent them, in good condition, and at low cost! Yipee!

Friday night I fly out to California see Pea pod, Mr. Muftipuff, and Kate. Then moving into Berkeley in a few weeks. I can't stop thinking of Joni Mitchell song 'California', mainly because it is happy but also melancholy. The way she sings "I'm coming home, to see the folks I dig. I'll even kiss a sunset pig." is both elating and heartbreaking. For the first time, California is my home. Let the myth of dualism dissolve in the joy of reality.

Gimping up Colfax on the short bus.

2009-07-18T20:13:00.000-07:00

Things are looking up. Tonight my Aunt picked me up in the short bus (our family is so big we use a short bus to get around) to cruse up Colfax. Lucky for me, I got handi-capable seating in the bus. We (the fifteen of us) went to see Harry Potter. Yes, it was an extravagant night, indeed. After the movie we went out to the fancy restaurant, the one with paper napkins. While I ate my foil wrapped Mexican I got to thinking how wonderful it is to have a ridiculous big family. Then off to Target to wait while my young cousin got toys. My mother has six siblings, tonight it was three of her sisters, their husbands, and their children, Bevin and I. It wasn't all of us by any stretch but we were enough to fill the bus and two rows at the movie theater. Magical.

While this has been a trying time for me physically things are improving in other areas. For starters these few months at home have given me the opportunity to spend time with folks I love. Yesterday, Bevin and I went to meet young Vincent Joseph. Vinnie was born Monday to my oldest sister, Jesse and brother-in-law Brian. The baby is precious.

Also, the second surgery was successful but it still means I got to spend the week with folks in the house caring for me. A big thank you to all my highly trained nurses-Julie, Randy (and young Peter), Sharon, Sarah, Evie (and young Opal), Litty-bit, Anna and Ben. You all were great. Seriously, healing is better when there is someone there to sherpa with a positive nice-to-see-you attitude.

On the first of July, Global Mission and I made the choice not to continue with service in Indonesia. It was unclear if my visa was secure. Plus, with this second knee surgery it would be another ten weeks before I could travel so I would only be able to stay for a few months before the end of the limited stay permit. So, with sadness, we offer gratitude to our friends at the deaconess school, and close this chapter of emplyoment. However, where God closes one door he opens another.

On the second of July (yes, literally the next day) I was accepted to Pacific Lutheran Theological Seminary in Berkeley, California. They sent me a housing offer and are working out financial aid. I accepted the offer and have purchased tickets to fly out and begin attending classes starting September. My middle sister Kate will assist me in moving when I go out to see them August 14th in Davis. I look forward to meeting her new son, born in February, Simon.The old left leg will not be healed so she and her husband are going to help with logistics.

On August 2nd I will be presenting at Atonement Denver at 9:30 for 45 minutes on World Hunger. Then on August 9th I will be back in Boulder to preach and teach at Atonement Boulder.

Pray for me on August 10th when I have my Entrance interview to candidacy for the Rocky Mountain Synod. Hooray road of discernment! We'll see if God has been calling me to ordained ministry in the Church.

Here's what I get from this whole double surgery, right leg reconstruction, left leg reconstruction situation. Pain is easily forgotten. Faith grows in convalescence. Friends make things funnier and laughter heals all kinds of aches. And only in my family do you get to bring the short bus to the movies, gimped out on Colfax, cruising, with my best-friend.

Recovery and Reconstruction

2009-05-21T08:53:00.001-07:00

On Easter Sunday I took a spill in the national forest looking on Northern Sumatra. During the fall my knee cap came all the way off and went around my knee ending up in the back knee pit. I cried out in fear and pain the guides and friends turned me on my back, I said 'put it back' and I fainted. They put things back together and gave me pain meds. Yes, I walked out of the jungle and even in the week and a half before the surgery. It didn't swell terribly bad or really bruise but things were not looking good. The ELCA decided to bring me back to the United States for reconstruction surgery on my right knee. The experience has been not unlike being whisked away by aliens and probed, I imagine. The surgery was intense.

I arrived in Denver on Wednesday April 22 (I don't remember much of the 30 hour plane ride because I think my psyche just blocked it) and went to the doctor April 23. He said basically the same thing the doctor in Medan said (torn MCL, recurrent dislocation) and added the twists cartilage damage, ACL partial tear, and arthritis.

BUT MANY MANY MANY PEOPLE ARE HERE WITH ME HELPING ME IN SPIRIT AND ON PRACTICAL MATTERS. Thanks to you saints who have loved me so much you pray for me, write letters, clean dog poop out of the back yard, bring by food, bring flowers, sit with me, loan movies, clean the house, call me, massage me, Sherpa stuff around, give medication, confront doctors, throw parties, pick me up for coffee, tell me you love me, bring by medical equipment, have me over for dinner, eat the food I prepare, clean up after, complement me and hear my tiny complaints, leaving me alone when needed, give me money, confront insurance folks, keep up on my mail, laugh with me, and generally encourage me. There are things that were done that I don't know about or can't remember. I am sure conversations of concern and decisions I don't know about that have made this experience generally a positive one. I thank everyone I know and everyone who has acted in my best interest.

Went into surgery May 1st and he took part of my hip tendon and made a new MCL and strengthened the ACL. He shaved the cartilage and removed the arthritis. Then for fun he moved a major tendon below the patella and put two screws on my calf to hold it. On my femur he ground a new holding place for the patella. While in surgery he found an 'extra bit' that he decided to have a closer look at- thank God it was a benign cyst called a Baker cyst. Gross.

Anyway, I am not allowed to put any weight on my knee at all until after the go ahead x-rays scheduled June 15th. Then I begin at least 8 weeks of intense rehabilitation. There are still some outstanding visa issues (if/when/where/why the mysterious IMTA). I have so much more empathy for immigrants in our country. I join folks on both sides of the political spectrum in calling for sane reform. In the meantime I am working on writing a curriculum for the school.

Things in a wheelchair and on crutches are NOT awesome. I have more empathy for folks who live their lives without walking than I ever could have imagined. Yesterday Bevin and I went to buy just a few clothes I gave nearly everything away before I left for Indonesia, brought only sweats home with me and needed something for church. Trying on pants, suits, and skirts was exhausting. Having come out of a three weeks on narcotics, my memory is poor. Sometimes, I get confused.

She was a saint of patience and compassion but shopping is not something I enjoy fully able bodied and sharp minded. We both ended up too tired so when we came home collapsed on our beds. I did end up with a well fitting pin stripe three piece suit (jacket, skirt, and pants) to mix and match with tops, a good start. I was reading my secret favorite magazine (Vogue) and saw a similar cut and cloth on a 'top model' in a spread about models and their boy friends. Mild dignity achieved.

Today, marks day three free of pain meds. (Not free of pain- but prayer works.) And tonight I get to talk with Mary Johnson about what the next weeks hold for God's ministry. The whole last month might have been one of the most challenging of my life- the lack of dignity in needing help showering, vomiting, digestion wows, not being able to even dress myself for a week, etc. I am reminded of a story a friend told me:

A women lost most of her foot to diabetes. She was able to get around, but not without difficulty. One day, she looked at my friend and said "I am glad I didn't loose all my foot, because I can still get around and live my life." Compare this with what she might have said: "I am sad/angry/etc that I lost any mobility or part of my foot."

So I am trying to look on the positive side. Things are getting better. I am stronger everyday. Now, thanks to Bevin, I have a super cute suit. I am alive after major surgery. My leg looks great and will heal so I can still dance, hike, ride my bike, walk, and other foolishness I love, someday. And I am home with my friends and family. But the biggest blessing of all, I am still in God's loving embrace.

Coming home for treatment!

2009-04-20T20:59:00.000-07:00

After I saw many incredible and beautiful orang hutans in wild... I fell and twisted the crumb out of my right knee. This week has been a whirlwind of hospital, internet cafe, and texting. The ELCA and I decided to ship me home for treatment. Then perhaps back to Indonesia for more service. In the meantime I am taking visiting appointments and would LOVE to see all folks who are in Colorado during the next three weeks. You can reach me at Bevins', of course. And I will update if/when surgery is scheduled.

Penang, Malaysia

2009-03-14T02:11:00.000-07:00

Arrived in Penang on Thursday morning waiting for a letter from a person (name withheld) for visa purposes that would arrive Friday afternoon. Originally it was to be picked up on my way here but no such luck. WAITING WAITING WAITING. Nothing, finally last night (Friday) well after the Indonesian consulate closed I got the letter. SO frustrating.

But the food is good. I will go to the consulate with this magic letter Monday and maybe they will give me a work visa. If not I will apply for another social/cultural visa and come home in May. Really, either way I am fine. And today I went for a walk in the unbelievable Paneng Botanic Gardens. There was no one on my path and it was absolutely alive with bugs and birds and vines. I was able for a moment to GET OUT OF MY HEAD. And just love the physical sensation of walking in the density of life that is tropical rainforest. Pictures to come later.

Yesterday I after I finally found a new SIM card for my phone and was able to contact the folks in Chicago and Indonesia I had a few hours to kill. (I think the things you choose in a different place than home alone reveal a lot about you. Am I a religous nut case???) I found myself in a Chinese sea temple, then in a Hindu temple to the Elephant-headed God, and then in a Budhist temple. In all three places my heart rate slowed and I just wondred and found myself repeating my favorite Christian prayers in my head. These stunning places and the wonderful people who choose to spend there time there (volunteers and monks) welcomed me and made my vocation clear. I am frustrated with the visa process but excited to apply to PLTS seminary. My cultural understanding of these different religions is truely poor. I asked a lot of questions and everyone was willing to talk with me. Then I was asked to explain my own belief, but only in terms of action. What are you doing? Why are you here? Who do you love? I love when belief is translated into action with verbs.

I love Jesus. So I came to Indonesia. To work with the poor.

2009-03-02T03:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday about twenty deaconess students, Sister Beatrice, several people from staff and I went to do ministry in rural areas. We went to a place called Loumobangulu where I went to a village called Hutanamora. Sister Merile did the sermon, students offered information about nutrition and herbal/traditional medicine. I gave a short informational speech about not burning plastics. The people offered us a meal after the service. Some students and I got to walk around for sometime before the service.

On our walk along the hills we found a grove of tiny tangerine trees. I was as tall as the tallest tree in the grove. The tangerines were the size of walnuts. They were more delicious than walnuts, though. Each perfect little fruit was like God rubbing my tummy. When Sister Dewi walked right in to the grove and started to pick the fruit and eat I became nervous. Hey, you can’t do that. Then I remembered watching young Claire stand on the sidewalk of Davis casually eating kumquats from someone’s hedge while Kate chatted with neighbors. Okay. I guess you can do that in California and in Indonesia but not in Haiti or Mexico or Canada or Colorado. The students called out and soon a women came and helped us gather some fruits to take back to Balige with us. She asked 3,000 rupiahs for a kilo. That’s about 30 cents for roughly two pounds. Or 15 cents for a pound. Seriously, they were so good I literally had to sit down to concentrate on the deliciousness that was each tiny section. I also had to sit down because I had twisted my ankle slightly while chasing this huge toad around the trees. He was so cool. I will post/add a picture.

In the church during a service I noticed a bat hanging in the rafters asleep. In Indonesia small bats are called kilalawar. I can’t remember how to ask for more water, but I can point out the small bats and kittens. The Sisters here think I am an idiot savant because of my bizarre and often unpredictable ability to remember words in Indonesian.

It seems I need to go to Malaysia for a new tourist visa next week. Sister Serepina will not go with me so I am working to find someone to accompany me. A single women traveling alone on a ferry is not safe or advised. I will e-mail a friend and see if he can help me out from Kuala Lumpur. I have not yet heard anything about my year and a half work visa. Maybe I will know more a week or two. A guy has travelled to Jakarta on my behalf from Nommenssen University and the HKBP. He should get back with us soon. April 1st is the latest I will wait, otherwise, if I don’t hear anything I will plan to go home in May because the waiting has become absurdly stressful. Spending time ‘registering’ at the police station is frustrating and I would like to feel like when I go to work every morning I am not breaking the law. You know the wonderful feeling of doing a good job for a good cause and staying within the local and national laws? I want that feeling again.

I love teaching and am encouraged by my advisor suggesting last week that I should teach as a vocation. She describes me as ‘gifted’ in the classroom. There was this funny moment two weeks ago we were practicing our English with a play of the story the ‘Great Banquet” from the new testament, I am sure you know it. The story is that this really rich guy prepares a huge party but none of the big-shot guests that he invited come and instead giving stupid excuses. So the rich guy sends his messengers out into the city streets and they invite everyone they see- beggars, cripples, widows, street children- and everyone has a wonderful time at the party except the lame rich people who aren’t there. Someone in our class had to play Jesus. Which is funny since I think we are all Jesus, and none of us at the same time. But that’s hard to explain to students in a foreign language so we just went with the literal- someone would play Jesus. There are pastors, regents of the church, AIDS health workers, and deaconesses in the class. The students decided that the good doctor should be Jesus in the play. Just before it was time to preform the doctor got a cell phone call. Normally, I wouldn’t allow cell phones in my classes but these students are literally dealing with life, life after death and death. The doctor stepped out to talk on the phone so we waited for him to come back. Then as he came up the stairs the students who were sitting near the window, light was streaming in and giving them a halo effect, looked out and three of them turned, wide eyed to me and smiling said in unison “JESUS IS COMING!” I fell out of my chair laughing. I don’t think they understand how hilarious the moment was. But really sooooooooo funny.

Where things are okay!

2009-02-13T23:38:00.000-08:00

These last few weeks have been busy! But things are good. I have been spending insane amounts of time in the classroom. It is hard work! Teaching! Who, knew? Well just about every teacher I know says it's hard work. But I never believed them. They are all right. This is tough. Tomorrow Mary Johnson and Richard Sarkar will arrive in Balige for a visit. Which could not be better timed. I need some support of fluent English friends to talk about my visa. I was rejected for the long term work visa through Nommenssen University Department of Education and am watching hopes of staying for two years fade. But we are all praying and working to get a work visa through the Religious Department. It now seems likely that I will return to the U.S. in the middle of a major economic slump, with college loans, and no health insurance just as millions of other graduates flood the market- May/June. God said HA! But I know things will work out. I continue to believe miracles will happen and I will be staying for my whole term-two years. So realistically I am preparing to leave soon, and idealistically I am settling in to two years of teaching. What fun!

We celebrated valentines day by watching Audrey Hepburn and hanging out with chocolate. Sumatra has some of the world's best chocolate. Really superb. And the students and I had a lot of fun.

Today I went to the hair stylist alone. My Indonesian is good enough for me to explain not too short. But shorter for neatness sake. And I love my 'drunken Lutheran' the title of the hair cut Olga originally gave me while drunk many years ago. Some things never go out of style- Thanks Olga.

Monkey!!!

2009-01-18T21:36:00.001-08:00

Saturday we went to Parapat to talk with Immigration. I had a complete melt down because they only gave me a visa for February. But I believe eventually thing will improve. So to cheer me up we went to the monkey sanctuary and saw at least four different species. Here are some pictures... for more pictures of my adventure go to

nias

One day in Nias....

2009-01-18T21:30:00.000-08:00

Finally as afternoon approaches Eleven, Mirni and I are dropped deep in the jungle. Hours up the side of steep hills, along narrower roads. There are cocoa trees along the hillside.

Butterflies everywhere! Seriously, there are like 30 species that I see on campus everyday. A black on with white and iridescent blue spots just flew by me.

At the first river, we get out of the car, roll up our pants and cross. A man is crossing down river from me and catches my flip flop which is dislodged in the current. Who is this person? At the other side on top of the hill there are four motorcycles waiting for us. I say- this isn’t safe. I can walk. It’s just rained and my bag is too big to balance on the back of a motorcycle. Sister Eleven says they’ll be safe, it’s very far. I am not convinced but get on the back of a one. We struggle up a hill and nearly tip onto the wet and badly eroded patch which has many very sharp looking rocks on it. I hop off and just as I get off I watch in slow motion as Sister Eleven’s motorcycle zips by and slips. She and her driver go down, she is trapped under the bike. She doesn’t call out but makes this horrible ‘Ouch!’ face as her hip is smashed on rocks. I don’t really know how I got over there, but a second later I am holding her bags asking over and over ‘Are you okay??!’ she lies and says she’s fine. Her ankle is bleeding, her pants and bag are covered in mud. So we walk.

Later on the walk Sister Serepina drives by on a motorcycle. Stops to ask what happened. She goes on with out us. In the dense jungle, I imagine myself backpacking. A nature exploring writing a piece on the disappearing tropical jungle. Everything is GREEN!!!! I forget there are people following me and suddenly I see newness. Around me bugs, birds, and animals call out. Leaves are moving down trunks. Decay is so fast I can almost see it as it happens. A light rain mists my face. Up hills and down, there are coffee, banana, cocoa, and palm everywhere. The canopy is so thick, my eyes are shocked when it opens up at a river. On my right, maybe twenty feet away a seven foot long three inch thick boa crosses. I freeze in anticipation (I am oddly not afraid, just in awe) I watch it as the whole thing starting with it’s head rises out of the water and onto the bank. So graceful, it is unbelievably powerful. When it has disappeared I slowly come out of my trance, as if coming out of sleep. I look back and the others are making their way down the hill. I shout that I’ve just seen a snake. Allan responds “I like snakes.” You would.

At the top of another hill Sister Serepina is waiting for us at a house. Next door six men are under a large truck, fixing it. Across the path at a house/store younger men and older me sit watching me struggle with a way too large bag. We are greeted at the house by a man who invites us to sit on his porch. We have some water. I go back down to the second to the river.

The river is the color and consistency of thick hot chocolate that has cooled. It is rushing fast. A tree truck at least as big as a grown man rushes by. Sister Eleven says the people on the other side are not going to cross for at least another hour. Everyone expects the river to lower because the torrential downpour upstream seems to have stopped. I look a the hills above us and see it is still raining there. We wait an hour and a half at the house. I read Pride and Prejudice aware of how much of an imperial jerk I must look. This fat, well dressed American reading instead of talking with the locals. But I am kinda pissed that I have to cross a rushing river. Also, it’s an exciting adventure. Now THIS is being a missionary, crossing rivers, facing dangerous animals, and meeting new people. Taking all kinds of transportation to bring the good news. I would love it even if it weren’t for the missionary part. I just love adventure.

At six-thirty I convince Eleven that we ought to cross because it’s getting dark and I’ve just seen an old lady drag a small child across. Though the depth is the same as ever, the current is slower. The water comes up to me waist and nearly to the others chest. She is dubious. She says we can wait longer and the people will help us with lanterns. I press her. Finally, she agrees to cross. We send out bags across on the back of a young man. I am ashamed I cannot carry my own bag. WHY did I pack so much? The current is very fast and very strong. How did that women and child not get carried away? A man holds my arm as I struggle to cross. It takes about half an hour to get me across. Thank God the water is warm. Everyone gets across safely but Sister Eleven’s face says she is not amused. I start to laugh when we all get to the bank. Marni joins me and the men, too. We stand there laughing in the dusk, soaking wet.

First Three Weeks and the Weather is fine.

2008-12-09T19:47:00.000-08:00

Well it’s been a quiet week in Balige, Tobasa Sumut, my new home town. Travel went smoothly even if it is a long trip to get here. I finally adjusted to the time difference- fourteen hours ahead. (Hello from tomorrow!) In missionary orientation one of the Pastors said we should take our list of everything we are able to do in a day at home and divide it in half. And then only expect to get only one thing done each day. It’s true, I have not been able to do much by myself and therefore I have never been so dependent on others. Even when I was sick or in the hospital at least after infancy I was able to talk easily with my caretakers and get my needs met. Here it is more complicated and difficult. BUT everyone is sooooooooooooooooooo nice about everything I am in good health and spirits. Really really really nice. Sister Risma keeps flowers in my room by stopping by every three days and saying “Sister Laura, your flowers must be ....” Then she makes a sad face and comes into my room to take what look like perfectly beautiful flowers out and replacing them with a new bouquet. Last week she gave me dahlias from the courtyard. This week it’s a birthday mix of elephants ears and asters. I mentioned that I like spinach and Sister Lamria said maybe we should plant some. Can you imagine? Planting something just because a guest casually mentioned they like it, wow. How can I repay the kindness I’ve received?

God is here for sure. In the beauty of the surrounding countryside and in the hearts of the people with whom I am working. We have visited many people sense my arrival three weeks ago. We have visited the homebound elderly and held a service for prisoners at the jail. We talked with mothers who were organizing for environmental protection. I shared my story and to my surprise many were moved to tears. I have to think maybe there is some good or a plan behind all the headaches.

Their compassion healed something I have long been hesitant in facing. How to share my story without being the victim or getting totally preachy about the environment? The reality is that just sharing what happened to me might help them to prevent exploitive mining in their community. The women heard what the consequences unregulated mining are for me and may be able to stop it. I am not opposed to all mining. But I am concerned that without effective protection their children will bare the cost of industry. This is an issue of justice. Too often it is the poor that suffer the most when industry does not protect the communities health.

If I get a different kind of visa, I will be able to start teaching English, Community Organizing (thanks INVST!), and Environmental Issues (thanks University of Colorado ENVS department!) in January.

GOT MY VISA AND MY TICKETS!!!

2008-11-08T13:15:00.000-08:00

Hooray! Today in the mail I got my visa and tickets. I leave on Saturday Nov. 15th. HOORAY! This week has been really amazing. Pres. Barak Obama may be able work for change in our government. The weather has been perfect. My tickets AND visa came. I love my friends and family. I am finally packing.

One last important thing before I go- If anyone. I mean anyone. Can help me find someone to care for my bird while I am gone or forever, please contact me ASAP. Two people have backed out of contracts to care for him this week and I am very worried about my little guy. He is a ten year old (I think- I got him in 2000) Nanday Conure. He is sweet with me, tame and loving. With other people he can be aggressive, though it depends on the person and the context. He is loud. He is also crazy smart. He is healthy and very handsome. His name is Murray and he has been my constant companion for eight years. I love him so much and need a good home for him.

Pastor Julie

2008-10-26T21:37:00.000-07:00

Today I saw my friend Julie become a called and ordained minister in the ELCA. I have never been to an ordination ceremony before and like many times this week found myself crying the whole way through. First off, Pastor Jim delivered a beautiful sermon on the import of remembering it is not about you. Our time here is to glorify God by working to hear and do his work here on earth. Second, the day was bright and beautiful. What a wonderful moment to affirm my faith. I have struggled to stay positive as time passes and I still do not have a visa. I am not able to make plans for more than the next month without serious hesitation. But today, for a minute I lost myself. As I looked out the windows at the top of the sanctuary I found myself spinning (maybe floating?). Suddenly the very world seemed too bright. I thought, I want to keep this feeling, and instantaly I was snapped back into the song. People around me were missing entrances, holding notes too long, they were not in key and many were fumbling words. I love it. We are so fragile and so mistaken. I thank all the people who have helped me decern my call. Is this God calling me to work half a world away? Donno. It's a leap of faith. And today I saw a very wise very strong women give it all up. Without help we are lost. Today for just a light filled moment I was found. I thank God for that moment of clarity. The sound of all those voices lifted me up.

Letter to Atonement Boulder

2008-10-12T21:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends in Boulder

Thank you so much for your prayers of support. I did not know you all were praying for me until recently when I traveled from my home in Lakewood to Boulder for an organizational meeting on how we can support members of our congregation as they face health challenges. Many people at the meeting expressed surprise at my still being in the United States. Frankly, I am also surprised. When I sent the congregation an announcement in July we believed I would be leaving for Indonesia in late August or early September. But here it is October and I do not have a departure date. I am waiting for my visa. Our colleagues at church-wide tell me it is very likely I will be granted a visa sometime this month. To put bread on my personal table I have a temporary position at a costume store and enjoy it very much. Most Sundays I do not drive the hour and half round trip to see you but you all are in my thoughts and prayers as I join with Atonement Denver in worship. There is very little I can do to speed up the bureaucratic process but it is my prayer I will arrive in Balige in early November.

While I am waiting God has blessed me with the opportunity to do his comforting work here at home. Several members of my family have faced unexpected life changing events in these four months. I am blessed to be with them as they walk through these things. Everyone is in their right place. God has a plan and a time.

I have been in contact with my supervisor at in Indonesia and have been preparing for my departure by learning Bahasa, writing some lesson plans, and getting my vaccinations. Please allow me give the congregation more information about what I expect to do when I get to Southeast Asia. I have been invited by the people of Indonesia, the HKBP church, and the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America to serve God at the deaconess school for two years teaching English in Balige, Tobasa Sumut, Northern Sumatra. I will also be designing a curriculum for the school to keep when I leave to use with short term native and near native English speakers.

While studying Environmental Studies at the University of Colorado, Boulder, I learned about the December 26, 2004 magnitude 9.0+ earthquake in the Indian Ocean. This was the fourth largest earthquake since 1900 and the resulting tsunami was over 10 meters tall when it reached shore in Sumatra. In Indonesia at least 110,229 people were killed and all over the world more than 150,000 people died as a result of the earthquake and tsunami in 2004.

My colleagues who have recently traveled to the area tell me the people of northern Sumatra are recovering well, the communities are coming back from the disaster and most houses in the devastated areas have been rebuilt. But God still has more work to do in this part of the world. I was approved to serve for two years by the Global Mission unit. While I may not be directly working with disaster relief efforts, I believe I will be working with the women in the school to affect long term change so that when future natural events happen they will not become disasters like the tsunami. By empowering the deaconesses to speak with officials at agencies around the world, it is my prayer any future natural disasters will be mitigated before they become a tragedy like the 2004 tsunami. Additionally, by many estimates more than 80% of scientific publications are in English. With greater access to information my students will be able to affect many other aspects of their community lives. They may use their skills to build interfaith relationships, better nutrition, organize rural development, and in the professional fields of nursing and education.

As a church we have been called by God and justified by faith to walk humbly with all people on earth. In preparing to travel I pray for safe travel and health. I pray God watch over and care for my friends and family. Finally, I pray the people who have supported the Global Mission unit of the ELCA know how much hope, joy, and good they are bringing to an area of the world that has been devastated by a tsunami. The people that I have contacted in the area are very excited for my arrival. Finally, I am reminded of what we learned in orientation- mission work goes two ways. I pray my ministry will serve as a witness to God’s promise to the people in Indonesia. Equally importantly, though, when I write home and when I get back our church will be better for the talent, insight, diversity in thinking and challenges our companions bring to us as we walk in accompaniment. God’s work. Our Hands.

Wondering about a sea of consumption

2008-10-03T07:07:00.001-07:00

I was walking to work the other day and there were hundreds of cars zooming by at a busy intersection. I was the only person not in a car or shop as far as I could see. But I had memory of hearing sometime that there is a story about aliens coming to earth and concluding that cars are really in charge and they have enslaved the human race. Which in some ways is true. We spend time in them everyday and work to support them. I guess I feel a little isolated sometimes because I don't have a car.

It seems everyone owns a car. I did learn in school how we decided to move from an infrastructure of public transit and spaces to a private car culture. It wasn't an accident. I am thinking specifically of how Goodyear bought up all the train companies in the West (specifically starting in L.A.) and then replaced them with buses. Buses are louder and more expensive to keep going and use a lot more carbon and are less reliable and safe but they make money for the manufacturers because they have to be replaced more often. I am waiting to go somewhere and I am going everywhere in a private car. My neighbors are fighting the Fasttracks rail line going in behind their houses because it will be loud. But it's not like they are building new tracks from scratch- they are just fixing an old track to make it usable again. I am frustrated with my neighbors because public trains are better for everyone- they cost less than private cars, are better for the environment, are safer, and create a sense of shared responsibility by encouraging public spaces.

Temp Job try number Two

2008-09-24T21:57:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in life we need a do-over. The position with water was, um, how to say? Not successful for me or the organization. I did something so unlike me it was an out-of-body experience- I left the job during a shift. I've gone home because I was deathly ill. I've gone home because there was a real family emergency. I've even been sent home because I wasn't needed that day. But I have never, in my whole life, left because I felt a position was totally wrong for me and a movement. I spent most of Sunday in bed thinking, praying and crying. What went wrong is almost too hard to explain. Let me just say canvassing is not for me.

But things seem to be working out for the better now. I called a costume shop that I also interview with and they still have a position for me. So I went in and got trained. I am now the wig Matron of the costume shop. I also get to answer the phone, and in a real pinch help out at the register. Wow. From what I applied for to now that's like three promotions in three days of working.

At the wig counter I get to laugh with the public as they try on new identities for Halloween and dress up. As you might notice from my profile picture dress up time is my favorite time anytime. So this position fits my personality and my needs- it pays (not great but some is better than nothing), it's now until October 31st, and it's close (just across the street). So the lesson children is to listen to your heart when it's shouting NO! and find something that fits.

By the way I heard from the folks at Church wide- they seem to think I'll be leaving in early November. Which is much later than I originally thought but still leaves time to volunteer during the election season. GO VOTE!

Head case, my job.

2008-09-16T23:27:00.000-07:00

Here's a little story that is part of a larger story. I went on an interview marathon. Four interviews in three days. Phew. I think I am going to do my temp work on an issue that is really almost too close for comfort but I think I am ready to try. Here's some background.

When I was not yet born Mom and Dad lived in a Colorado Mountain town. The water supply that spring was not always good. Sometimes the neighbors would complain of the taste and floaties coming from the tap. Several children were born with horrible birth defects that summer. In December Mom went into labor with me ( WAY too early) and went to the hospital. She had an emergency Cesarean section.

I was born with Craniostynostosis. It's a disease that causes the bones in a fetus head to fuse and harden. The skull shouldn't fuse until much later in development so the brain can grow- think around the age of 6 and completely after teenagerhood. Without surgery brain damage is a possibility, death is too. The doctors did a very long, very painful surgery to correct my defect. It was successful. (Even though sometimes I do/say/act like an idiot for no discernible reason other than obvious brain damage.) I sometimes have headaches. I have had a mild headache for 28 years.

There were many others born with the defect. And still others with different defects. WHY?? The government (EPA among others) launched an investigation. A few years ago the water was found to be contaminated with heavy metals. And they found pollutants in the soil. And there was crap in the air, too. The whole aquatic ecosystem had collapsed from mining activities that happened, are you ready?...138 years before.

So the government declared our little city water pools a SUPERFUND site and began clean up. Now, nobody ever said the water made me sick. I have my hunches and some pretty promising sources but am not ready to make a direct accusation. Plus, the reality is even after billions of dollars in clean up the water, soil and air will never be 'clean' they will just be 'clean enough.' These things are complicated and I will write more later in new entries.

What's a girl to do? I went to one of the best schools in the nation to get my Environmental Studies Degree to figure it out. And for good measure I got a Community Leadership certificate so I could use what I learn to help people PROTECT themselves. (yeah, the minor in geography to find out how far the problem extends;)

What really stinks is, even if I wanted to personally fill the mines that are leaking cyanide, mercury, lead, beryllium, arsenic, and other nasties into the water supply, I can't. Cleaning up those site is ILLEGAL. Due to antiquated legislation no one except the government can touch the tailings or the mines themselves. There are more than 800 abandoned mines in Colorado. I think about that every time I am hugging the toilet to throw up because the pain of YET ANOTHER headache. I think about that every time I think about having babies myself. I think about the stuff sitting in my bones every time I have to explain to yet another doctor that I am still in pain. And that no, the medication did not help, and that no, I am not ready to live with it.

So starting Thursday, I am going to work with an environmental non-profit to PROTECT myself, my community, and my family from ever having to deal with something like this again. I am just glad the defect did not kill me. It could have, but I am lucky I am to be able to fight for everyone's right to drink clean water.

For just a few weeks I am going to knock on doors and say, hey friends, you should think about your little babies heads and vote. Vote for the environment. Then I am off to Indonesia to work with a different water, the water of life that sustains us all. The water from God washing away the pain of illness and anger at injustice and replacing it with joy and purpose.

Fun times in Limbo land

2008-09-01T17:51:00.000-07:00

It would be silly to pretend like I don't live some charmed life that would turn a leprechaun green with envy. Two weeks ago I went camping with my three siblings and my niece in Golden Gate State Park. Then last weekend I went jet skiing with old friends down at Chatfield and read poetry in a research canyon outside Boulder. This weekend Bevin and I went down to Colorado Springs to go horse back riding in Garden of the Gods. It was beautiful and oh so much fun.

I have also had the chance to visit and be visited by friends and family almost every day. Last Friday I held my sweet, well mannered first cousin who just turned five weeks. Still, when the visa comes through I am totally ready to go. Here's to filling up my time with wonderful moments! I did apply for temp work, and I have been writing some preliminary lesson plans. I know there are so few times in life when one would be permitted to live such a carefree existence. I am grateful for the time I have just futzing around and the many amazing friends and family.

Small Wire by Anne Sexton

2008-08-25T11:44:00.000-07:00

My faith

is a great weight

hung on a small wire... I don't want to violate any copy write laws so I am encouraging you to go find this amazing poem and read it. It is a delicious drink of poetry.

Visa-limbo is a dance you can do too.

2008-08-14T11:16:00.000-07:00

Well another week has passed, and while I did have a good week I am reminded of the book "Oh, the places you'll go" which has this section in it about the waiting place. I am there! I am waiting to see about getting materials for my classes, waiting about my visa, waiting for my new computer to come, waiting to hear what kind of language help I should get, waiting to pack everything, waiting to say goodbye to my Bevin and mom. It is not bad, this waiting place. But I find that certain routine chores suddenly have epic value. (They keep my mind busy.) Yesterday I cleaned the house- for seven hours. I wiped the walls and ceiling of the bathroom. I moved all the furniture so I could clean under it. I dusted the ceiling fans and under the refrigerator. My thought was, this is better than sitting around. Today my tired body seems to say, by all means sit around, or read a book or something. But I trust God has a timeline, and the Indonesian government will come through soon. The nice folks at church-wide seem to think early September is most likely. So this weekend, I'm going camping with my siblings and niece(and interestingly no spouses-the husbands said they couldn't handle this amount of fun=0). We are going up to Golden Gate Park, which is one of my favorite places to see hummingbirds. So at least I have that to occupy my mind. Now, then, about the baseboards...

Going away party!!

2008-08-04T10:07:00.000-07:00

With a still undetermined departure date we went ahead with the party Saturday. Thank you first to Bevin and Jesse for putting together a beautiful and relaxed open house! I am astonished at the attention to detail, creativity and love you ladies put into the party. I cannot possible begin to put into words my gratitude to you both for the opportunity to say goodbye. What a blessing it was to hug many of the people I love. To see my photo album see my photos copy and paste the address into a new tab or window. http://picasaweb.google.com/laurastephenson4/NewAlbum9108609PM?pli=1&gsessionid=Yvq444CdvguZJv0a1n1JBw

To be honest I cannot take credit for getting to this crossroad in my life. I am saying goodbye to my home of 28.5 years, Colorado, and hello to what feels right now as the unknown. I know each person I at the party (and many who couldn't make it!) have helped me discern a path that serves the environment, humanity, my own highest good, and God. Thank you for your loving support. You all have proven a million times over the power of the human heart to love.

It is with a mixture of sadness and joy I prepare to say hello to Indonesia. Last month I have learned about the ELCA's mission understanding- God's work, our hands. This new understanding of mission is based on compassion and joy. It feels to me like the right way to go because I have witnessed it in my own life with the people I love.

Oriented and Ready to Go!

2008-08-01T02:48:00.000-07:00

In what can only be described as a whirl wind experience, the last three weeks in Chicago have been wonderful. I was invited to go for an interview just a two weeks before orientation began. In fact, the whole thing has been fast. When I sent an e-mail to the ELCA Global Mission staff on the suggestion of the best advise available (thanks Julie, Sarah, and Brooke!), I did not expect that they would ask me to write a ten page application in just an afternoon. It was a blessing, though. I sat down and wrote from the heart, with all the mistakes and spelling errors one would expect from a quickly written series of essays. I guess they saw the qualities they needed. To save money it was decided rather than flying out and back from Denver we moved the interview to the day before orientation began and I would stay if I received God's call. On Monday July 7th I left the house not knowing if I would be gone for the afternoon or for the month. It turns out being flexible as a missionary is a good thing. I am honored to have the opportunity to serve in Northern Sumatra. The HKBP church of Indonesia and the ELCA have combined to offer me the opportunity to teach English.